Coming to a town near you…

O Cracker Barrel, my Cracker Barrel! Our fearful trip has just begun. How I miss your grandmotherly embrace and your delightfully mass produced faux rustic décor. Not to mention your charming and utterly authentic clientele, who, when not waiting for the rapture and praying for lower taxes, gorge on your better than Denny’s home cooking. I can almost hear them whisper “You know, Obama’s gonna take away our guns and pot roast. It’s on page 9,992 of section A, subsection G, paragraph 3, line 4 of his socialist manifesto.” O Cracker Barrel, fear not. The tree of liberty will be watered with your delicious gravy…

Well, you get the picture. Like the ill fated Kurtz, I’m going up river, into the belly of the beast…the horror. Find tour dates here.

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